IT

Hey guys

This is just the beginning of a short story I've been working on. Let me know what you think of it and any ideas on where to go from here would be appreciated and taken into serious consideration!


Chapter 1:

IT didn’t know where it was. IT didn’t know what it was. It didn’t know who the men in white coats were surrounding the table, nor why it was strapped to the table, or much of anything, really. But what IT did know was that it wanted a drink of water.

IT decided that being strapped to a table was overrated, so it merely sat up, breaking the magnetically-sealed steel reinforced bands holding it like so many daisy chains. For some reason, all the…doctors, yes, that’s what they were, were yelling and screaming like mad. Perhaps they were in danger. But what could possibly threaten them in this….laboratory? Laboratory? Odd, it seemed like doctors should be in hospitals, not laboratories, thought IT.

Its thoughts were suddenly interrupted by an overwhelming pain in its…what was the word….oh yes, there it is: shoulder. Upon closer scrutiny, IT realized there was a tube inserted into its arm. In fact, there were several tubes, connected all over his body…wait a minute…his body. Well, no need for these, he thought, pulling them out of his arm. It hurt for a few seconds, but then the pain strangely vanished. He looked again and saw that his arm didn’t have any marks on it whatsoever; not even a small speck like when he got his smallpox shot.

Well, that’s…odd. I need a drink of water…

In the middle of the lab’s mayhem, he paused for a minute, just to review what he knew so far: 1) He was a he (somehow that seemed reassuring). 2) He was a thirsty “he.” 3) He was in a lab. 4) He was surrounded by doctors who seemed to be in danger. 5) Doctors belonged in hospitals, not laboratories. 6) He could apparently heal rapidly.  Lastly, 7) He had had smallpox shot at some point in his life.  A good beginning, he concluded. Men have started with less. Ah, 8) He was a man. At this rate, he shouldn’t have anything to worry about.

After concluding his list, IT (for he didn’t know what else to call himself) began to ponder the great questions of life: Who am I? Where did I come from? What am I? Granted, the last usually isn’t a great wonder to a great many people, but you’d be surprised. Maybe I can ask one of these doctors…they’ll surely know.

IT turned towards the nearest doctor and said politely, “Excuse me, but could you tell me what I am?” as nonchalantly as if you or I were asking for directions home. For some reason, the doctor only went white with sheer terror and in his haste to find the nearest exit, slipped on the liquid spilling on the floor from the IVs IT had taken out of his arm.  IT bent down to help the poor man and because the man seemed to be trying desperately to crawl away, grabbed the easiest thing available: the back of his collar. With no more effort than flicking a fly, IT lifted the man bodily off the floor with one arm and stood him on his feet. The man ceased screaming and merely stared at this seemingly Superman-like person holding him a foot off the ground. IT thought this was rather strange (when good manners dictated that the man should thank him) when suddenly an epiphany stuck him: Are they’re scared of me?

At precisely the wrong moment, while IT was holding a terrified doctor at arms length, men in green coats with… something… came rushing into the room. IT wondered what they were pointing at him for about half a second before realizing they were guns. Not only that, but in all probability, loaded guns.

For some inexplicable reason, in IT’s mind, time seemed to slow to a crawl. Bullets came out of the end of the barrels in a slow-motion flash of flame, coming in his direction. Without thinking, IT flew under the table, feeling the still slow-moving bullets whiz over his head. He came up three feet in front of the first man, who still had his gun pointed at where IT had been.

I’m moving faster than they can react, thought IT. Time hasn’t slowed down…I’m just speeding up…but how?

 IT grabbed the man’s hand, delivered a spin-kick to the small of his back, grabbed the gun as it fell to the floor without even looking, then pistol-whipped the guard. How did I do that? It asked himself, but had no time to answer – the second attacker was now dropping to one knee, spinning to face this new threat. As he watched the bullet come towards him in slow motion again, IT flipped backwards, letting the bullet travel under him and kicking the second gunman at the same time. This time he didn’t even ask himself how he did it. He was kind of beginning to take things in stride.

What now? IT looked at the two handguns he had taken from the …who were they…oh yes…guards. This is a Berretta 92F…accurate close-range weapon… And this is a Smith and Wesson model 5906… 9mm caliber…and I have no earthly idea how I know that… Why am I so thirsty?

By now, the room was empty, except for the bodies of the unconscious guards on the floor. Well, I might as well leave as stay here, IT decided, walking out of the room into the wide, white hall outside. Upon leaving the room, he noticed a plaque on the side of the door – “Biogenetics Computing Lab.”

Odd.

The Tale of Anna and Steve: Paradise Lost

The tale of Anna and Steve: The Fall from Perfection.

Long ago, a loving father placed both of his children into the Garden of College. He gave them all the software they would ever need, both Vista and XP. But of the Apple, they were not to partake. Under no circumstances were they to own one, or use one. But all other computers were theirs for the asking, and under their dominion. And the father would Skype with his children in the evenings.

One day, that dreaded and hateful of all creatures, the HIPSTER, saw Anna watching him and his iPad. Now the HIPSTER was more cunning that any student of the campus which the father had placed his children within. And he said to the woman, “Has your father indeed said, You shall not partake of the Apple on campus?”

And the woman said to the HIPSTER, “I have a Vista and my brother has a XP, and I’m going to get a Windows 7 soon, but the Apple on Campus, Father has said, You shall not own it, nor shall you touch it, lest you downgrade.”

And the HIPSTER said to the woman, “You shall not surely downgrade. For your father knows that in the day that you use one your eyes will be opened, and you shall be as Steve Jobs, knowing good and malware.”

And when the woman saw that the Apple was good for streaming video and surfing the web, and that the screensavers and toolbars were pleasant to her eyes, and desirable to make one wise, she bought an iPad and partook in its pleasures. She also showed her brother and he partook as well, both with their own iPad. Then the eyes of both of them were open, and they knew that they were exposed to viruses and malware on their Windows Systems. And they attempted to patch together Norten AntiVirus to cover and protect their software.

Then they heard the sound of their father calling them on Skype at the end of the day, and Anna and Steve attempted to act nonchalant and delayed answering the call. When they did answer, the father asked, “Where have you been? “

The son answered, “I heard your voice on the e-chat, and I was afraid that I might have a virus.”

And he said, “Who told you that you might have a virus? Have you partaken of the Apple which I commanded you that you should not?”

After admitting their actions, the father bowed his head with sadness.
To the HIPSTER he said,

 “Because you have done this,
You are cursed more than all students,
And more than every beast of the field;
On your Civic you shall go,
And you shall eat soy
All the days of your life. 

And I will put enmity
Between you and the music world,
And you shall eat poppyseed cakes;
And everyone that you meet

Will want to crush your head.

 To Anna he said:

“I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your paper-writings;
In pain you shall bring Word documents;
Your desire shall be for your PC,
And Steve Jobs shall rule over you.”

 Then to Steve he said 

“Cursed is the software for your sake;
In toil you shall work on it
All the days of your life.
And you shall struggle to work with NET technology or ASP.
Till you return to the Windows operating system,
For the rest of the business and professional world uses it for any job they do;
For PC you are,
And to PC you shall return.”